Domestic abuse describes any violence or abuse that is used by someone to control or obtain power over their partner. It can include physical, sexual, psychological, verbal, emotional and financial abuse. If you alter your behaviour because you are frightened of how your partner will react, you are being abused.

Cambs police respond on average to 38 incidents of DV every day.  80% of those have children present.

 

CONTROLLING AND COERCIVE BEHAVIOUR     

Controlling behaviour : A range of acts designed to make a person dependant by isolating them from sources of support, depriving them of the means they need for independence and regulating their everyday behaviour.

Coercive behaviour: An act or a pattern of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish or frighten their victim.

This can include rape, ‘honour based’ violence, Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and forced marriage. 

 

AM I A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

• Does your partner use anger to intimidate you to comply with their commands?
• Is your partner excessively jealous? 
• Is your partner stopping you from seeing your family and friends? 
• Is your partner telling you what to wear, how to behave and what to say? 
• Does your partner control your money? 
• Does your partner monitor your movements?

If you have said ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you are in a domestic abuse relationship.

 

THE IMPACT OF DOMESTIC ABUSE ON CHILDREN

The definition of Emotional Abuse includes ‘seeing and hearing the ill-treatment of another’ and whilst some children may witness extreme violence, others may live in an atmosphere of detached control. This is just as damaging.

Children can often be more aware of what is going on around them than parents notice or believe.

“Its ok, my daughter was upstairs listening to her ipad, she didn’t hear anything’’

“The kids don’t know what’s going on. I manage to hide it really well from them. They are fine!”

 

 

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